I agree with this 100%.

Bump to get more responses from new female members

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Like Cherry I only have experience with Western born Asian Men or they left Asia when they were too young to remember anything. So I can't say I prefer one over the other or like both without some kind of comparison.

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I just can't help myself. Risk it all with me.

Eastern born ftw??

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When I was younger I was so sure I was going to end up with another hapa. Of course, this was supposed to be Brandon Lee but fate took us elsewhere. At the time I was a bit angsty and probably a lot ignorant that single-race Asians had an easier time at identifying but over time I've come to thinking that 1.5ers possibly understand bi-cultural issues on a similar basis as mixed race Asians. I would say that's a key part of the compatibility between myself and my spouse.

I've also done the whole heritage expedition thing to Asia and at this point spend enough time there where I really wouldn't be able to relate all that much to an Asian American. I hesitate to say banana or twinkie because I'm so white it'd be hypocritical. But I may secretly think it.

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Why wouldn't you be able to relate to an Asian-American?

What's the difference between an Asian-American and any other American?

What would you say makes someone in-tune with their heritage and what makes them cross over into being a "banana" in your eyes?

I can name my family as an example where my grandparents on both sides, as well as my parents eschew Confucianism, choosing to adhere more to the ideas of Lao Tze. As a result, we're often more out-spoken and independent-thinking than most of our Chinese acquaintances. This family "quirk" was never an issue while we were living in China, but frequently it seems to rub overseas Chinese the wrong way. Since I'm fairly young, I've met quite a few other Chinese who've called me a "banana" because of my independent nature and outspoken criticism of Confucian ideals. It seems to me the term "banana" is increasingly becoming a manifestation of clannish behaviour that has developed more from insecurity rather than any actual desire to preserve culture.

If a person refuses to acknowledge their heritage, then the term "banana" would certainly be applicable. However, it seems to me that this isn't always the case when using the word "banana".

same here....I came when I was 7...

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However you took that, it's not what she meant gambit. And saying something like "What's the difference between AA and any other American?" is kind of a void question because in a society that is full of mixed culture there's really no "American" standard. When international students ask me questions like "What is American culture" I first think "Baseball" but then I remember that Baseball is basically the national pass-timne over in Japan. Then I think "Outdoor BBQ" but other countries do that too, and also that's more of a southern thing. "Sexualizing young girls" also comes to mind, but then I remember that all Industrial countries do this.

Our country is too big to have a singular culture, so everyone is different. So saying that "Asian-Americans" aren't different from any other Americans would be WRONG because there's nothing to compare it to. America is about having the opportunity to do what you want to do and be what you want to be and all that jazz. If you want to practice a certain religion, go for it. If you want to cook certain foods or celebrate certain holidays... all yours.

Heritage wise Asian-Americans are different from other Americans, just like Italian-Americans are different from other Americans and so on and so forth.

Anyway, these days many Asian-Americans are still first and second generation, which means that they have traditional parents or parents that were raised by traditional parents who were born and raised in another country, in another culture. You don't think that's going to effect someone?

To answer the question that was originally posted though, I don't have a prefrence. My prefrence is "English Speaker". I value communication above most things, and two of my ex's knew English well enough to converse, but not well enough to hold deep and meaningful conversations about life, the universe, and all that they're about. It got old, real quick.

I guess to be perfectly honest, I prefer the man I'm dating now. Born in Korea raised in the states.

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I have to say that I am like Odrah, I prefer my Asian men to be born in their Ethnic country and perhaps come to US when they are in their teens. That way they are here for a while and learn very good English and they also are familiar with some of the American mentality. Then they are like 50/50 east/west. It's a good mix. My boyfriend is like that. He was born in Korea, but came over when he was 15 with his family.