up the road.

headed up the road this morning for pre-op with the little one.. where my handsome doc muse is.. actually i wont get to see him today, just his nurses.

i could be sleeping an extra hour,but the military calls.. the weather man had to go do his duty! actually.. he was suppose to be working anyway.. then i fell back to sleep to hear glass break,but when i come searching for the sound i didn't see anything, so it must have been something i was dreaming or the dishes settling in the sink.

i make a phone call tomorrow, i'm wishing that person tells me what i already know.. sometimes in this situation a person needs an advocate, or you look like the raging ex-wife. its funny how "men" take up for one another.. (no offense people).. just pisses me off when i have things in black and white in the other person's words.. and " I'm " the one with problems!! .. so getting an advocate is my best chance and i know this, i am not a stupid person. I think because i lay low, have a small voice.. people assume they should by-pass me.. someone to look over.. YET, the things are happening to ME and my family.

Trial and tribulations to talk about when i am rich and famous i suppose.. people love a great drama! i have more then ONE episode..

i also find it ironic, how well and sane my mind has been through this process.. i know i am right, and i know what is happening and how to fix/cure the problem.. from my end of course, then you have on lookers.. who try to convince you other wise.. HOW about you take a walk in my shoes, then tell me HOW i can live my life..

i was angry about that for awhile too.. but life moves on..

i know im getting a call today from the visitation center.. telling me to ease up on the guy he is trying ..YET again! (what if it was your kids?) anyway.. he broke more then one set of rules.. keep letting him get away with it.. go on.

i dont get.. how THEY can keep enabling his mental illness.. when do we/they/us say STOP! .. there is talk about the "burnout" stage.. i think i am more then done. i don't want to play this evil game.. his schizophrenia isnt going away, so why are people telling me to take it easy?? i lived that crap 10+yrs, and had people i was suppose to trust.. tell me, " I " was the one with problems..

anyway.. i need to stop the vent and get going! hopefully i dont run into any stupid people today.


(edit).. later today!

only stupid person was/is me.