The 6:07 commuter train was quite late in leaving for its suburban
destination.
Hank and Mack were enjoying their wait in the station bar.
They had, in fact, been drinking long enough to have reached the
stage of semi-maudlin confession about their sex lives.
"You know," Hank said, "I never slept with my wife at all before we were married. Did you?"
Mack thought hard for a minute.
"Gee," he finally said, "I dunno. What's her maiden name"

-------------------

THE PUNS

Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

The biggest difference between sex for money and sex for love is that
sex for money usually costs a lot less.

A pregnant woman and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa.
The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she asked.
He looked around.
"Isn't this how we got here in the first place?" he asked.

"Sex is a drag! All I worry about is getting pregnant."
"I thought your husband had a vasectomy."
"He did! That's why I'm so worried."

A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police.
"Honest, I'm not a suicide bomber," he said.
"I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins.
All I said was I'm dying to get laid."

I hate when I hear people say, "Nice guys finish last."
Seems every nice guy I've slept with finished first and didn't last.

Moms have Mother's Day.
Dads have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.