Question Regrets? - PROAZN.COM COMMUNITY: Asian Men and All Races of Women Coming Together

**ProAzn** · #1 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 12:50 PM

Have you ever had any regrets about how you lost contact with someone? I mean like someone you were in a relationship with and things went bad? Or how about when you first meet someone and they get a shit impression on you and you wish you had a chance to change their mind?

I try not to have regrets in a breakup etc. But one thing that did get to me is one time this guy I was interested in online finally emailed me and asked was I still interested in him. I said "yes". It was not even an hour later when he "suddenly" heard from another guy I had dated online. I was like "huh?" how the hell did he know your email address? The guy I was interested in suddenly emailed me back calling me all these unpleasant things. I was like "WTF?", you don't know me well enough to judge me yet. It really hurt me. We ended up in an email fight. I was really blown away by it because it really upset me that he judged me without even talking to me to get to know me.

So basically, he was left with this crazy impression of me based on shit someone else said. I regret that he didn't give me the chance to get to know me before he judged me. If he had done, he would find that I am NOTHING like that at all. I know he and I could have gotten on very well, even if just in friendship. But because of that, he turned his back on me.

What are your regrets?

conquest · #2 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 01:00 PM

I used to have regrets, I used to sabotage any good thing that came my way. But in the end i have learned alot about life and myself from it.

**ProAzn** · #3 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 01:25 PM

It just really bothered me because I really liked him a lot. I mean he seemed to be just the kind of guy I wanted; sensitive yet strong-minded, intelligent, could reach deeper levels, spiritual etc. I was actually very upset that he didn't see what he had done wrong. But anyway, I understood his reaction, just not the judgment of it etc. Anyway, it still bothers me that it ended like that because I felt like i was on trial without a defense... know what I mean?

conquest · #4 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 01:32 PM

yea, it sucks that he took the word of some random person over yours. personally i believe in giving everyone the chance to show who they really are no matter other peoples opinions. i wish more people were that way!

Entreri · #5 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 02:04 PM

Pro,

regret to me is associated with an event in which, should i go back to that time, i would act differently in order to make things better or at least work.
the way i see it, there was nothing that should've been handled differently on your part.

you liked this guy. he presumably liked you back.
he heard online rumours or whatever they were about you from a third party. he went ahead and chose to believe some guy over someone he liked without even giving the benefit of the doubt.
even if you could've become friends with him, would someone like that really be worth your friendship and loyalty when it's in his nature to doubt in times of need? as your friends, you want people who are both trustworthy and stupid enough to give others their full trust no matter what when the moment comes, not those ever-doubting, pragmatic, calculative, and clever people.

so there's no room for regrets there. sometimes things happen for a reason. sometimes, the most terrible thing in your life will lead to the best thing in your life (whether or not the two things are directly related), and you'll be grateful that the terrible thing did happen because if not, the best thing never would've come to your life in the first place or slipped right past you without even knowing.

in my case, i would even embrace the failures and unfortunate events of my life knowing that those nasty things ultimately contributed by leading me to my ultimate happiness.

**jackstar** · #6 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 02:40 PM

I learned that regrets after a break up are useless and a waste of time and energy to dwell on. So, I don't have regrets.

**ProAzn** · #7 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackstar

I learned that regrets after a break up are useless and a waste of time and energy to dwell on. So, I don't have regrets.

yeah I know what you mean. but if you werent even given the chance with the guy in the first place.. well..

hylas · #8 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 05:14 PM

Great words Entreri. Someone once told me, life is full of bad surprises and weird happenings..you just make of it what you can, and look ahead. Sometimes you just gotta let some of the crap go and keep on moving ahead. I know its easier said than done lol. If I beat myself up over every bad thing that happened in my life I would most certainly be dead by now or in a very bad place. Live and learn is what I say.. No regrets

**ProAzn** · #9 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 05:31 PM

Sigh SOME people don't seem to have a clue what i am talking about, lol

**jackstar** · #10 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProAzn

but if you werent even given the chance with the guy in the first place.. well..

Hmmm... I don't understand what that means...

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