my relationship has been very rocky these last couple weeks. i'm stressed out, not sure what to do, not sure what i want, all i know is i'm very unhappy.

so, 2 weeks ago my bf was suppose to meet me at my aunts house at 7. he called me to tell me he was on his way, but he NEVER shows up. we waited for 2 hours, my mom wanted to take us out to eat, but he ended up stopping by his friends house and "losing track of time." DOUCHE!

a couple days after that we were suppose to take my cousin to the movies. he was the one that was excited to go, and he said that he was going to hang out with his friends, he'd find out the movie times, call me, and we'd go to the movies around 9. he never called, we never went, and when i tried to get in touch with him he never answered or got back to me. and this is a person who can't leave the house without his phone! his excuse again was that he lost track of time and forgot.

i don't know if i'm just too forgiving but i let all that stuff slide. i think it's important that he has friends and hangs out with other people too, because i like my time without him as well. but this last week has been different! he has been staying at my place for a couple months now, he usually gets home right after work or school and that's it. but this past week i've hardly seen him. he'll go to his friends house at noon and not be back until 3am. after the 4th night in a row, i finally had a talk with him. he apologized and said he understood why i was so mad. BUT it hasn't stopped!!!

i've been babysitting my cousin for the last couple days and i've been at my aunts house. we went to an amusement park yesterday and literally 10 minutes after getting back he was gone to his friends house. i haven't heard from him since and i'm LIVID. he won't answer his phone, text me back, and i'm done with this.

i told a few of my friends about this lastweek, and even at that point they were like, "either he's cheating on you or he's a dumbass." i think hanging out at his friends house for 16 hours straight is a little extreme. i don't care what the hell you're doing, after 16 hours you know you've been there for more than a while.

i'm just so sick of this. i know i should probably dump him right about now, but i'm scared i'll regret it. NO, I REALLY SHOULD. he's definetly not worth the stress.

and about what my friends said, i'm not sure if he's cheating on me. i know he is at his friends house because when it's like 2am and i start wondering i'll drive by to make sure his car is there, and his friend's gf lives there and i'm sure she'd tell me if something fishy was going on.

GAH! being single sounds really nice right now. all of my friends are single, and they don't have this added stress. maybe i shouldn't either....

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cramming a latte

I agree with your friend, I think he's a cheater. They must be doing SOMETHING for him to stay out until 3AM...

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Listen to your friends ... they are people who care about you and are looking out for your best interest. They're right .. he IS a dumbass, whether he's cheating on you or not. Ask yourself if you want to be in this situation three months from now .. a year from now .. 5 years from now. You don't need to be jerked around by someone who doesn't appreciate you, when there's a chance you'll eventually meet someone out there who will.

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So many (Asian) men ... so little time ... ha ha

Bottom line he is showing total lack of respect for your feelings and emotional limits. Clearly it shows he doesn't give a damn for lack of a better phrase. He is taking advantage of that and knowing you will take him back each time he doesn't care. The feeling is like 'Oh well, whateva...' It's like the kid in a school yard bullying match. He will keep bullying the other kids until each time he does it the penalties get tougher and tougher. Until that happens he won't stop and continue the rebellious ways. He is behaving exactly the same.

The choice is yours but the decision is pretty obvious. When you have to follow him to make sure he is where he says he is then that trust level begins to break down. That's a clear sign that your limit has been breached.

Remember this song by the late great Ray Charles?

i know...

you are all right. i'm not sure if he's cheating on me, he's pretty against cheating but he's definetly not there for me and i'm not sure what's worse.

i kinda expected what you all would say but i guess i just needed to hear it from someone else, AGAIN. =/

i don't have a problem with breaking up with him. i know my life will be alot easier, but it's the actual post-breakup i'm scared of. it's going to be such a hassle with him having to move out and then i have to stay in a place filled with memories of him. thank goodness my lease is about to end but still... i'm so dreading all this.

=(

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cramming a latte

have you asked him if he is having second thoughts about living together, or if he is becoming scared of the commitment?

Take some time to think about it.
But keep in mind:
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." -Marilyn Monroe

That's basically my philosophy on dating...

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What is he telling you he is doing while he is at his friends house?

I mean is he like addicted to playstation games or something? Are they like watching hardcore porn? hell, seems weird to me that he would want to be over there THAT long and until early hours of the morning?

Sounds like he is either cheating on you and his friend is covering for him, or he has a new kind of addiction of some kind? drugs? hell, who the hell knows.. it's something you need to think about sounds like.

I don't mean to add to your stress and worry, but there is definitely something VERY wrong here.

You need to pin him down (if you can) and have one of the hardest talks you can have with someone... a VERY open-hearted truthful one. You need to question him and tell him what you are feeling. DON'T bow down to him and all.

You seem like a very sweet girl, but you can do TONS better than this guy. You need someone who appreciates you.

If you do decide to break up with him, don't be afraid of the loneliness after the breakup.. keep yourself busy and do things you know make you happy.

Come on here and we will give you tons of support and help you over it. I know I will.

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Help yourself and just get it over with. In the long run it might be for the greater good.

I don't know if spending 16 hours at a friend's house is too extreme or not. And of course I don't know if this guy is cheating either. But I don't think it really matters.
If I told a girlfriend that I would see her at a certain time, I'd be looking forward to it. In fact I'd be trying to get away from the friend's house to be with her.