Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Even if someone did something bad to the other? Say one person developed a drug addiction and did some really bad stuff like lie to the other about alot of things, but it wasn't really them talking it was the drug. Do you think that person deserves a second chance to sober up and straighten out? Or do you think it's right for the victim to leave and never look back? Or what if one person cheated on the other, and felt bad about it and promised never to do it again? Do you think the cheater deserves a second chance? Are the person committing these things towards the other less of a person or worthless because they aren't given a second chance? What do you guys think?

it depends on the severity of the damage the victim received from the other one addicted to a drug.
even if the drug user (plus cheater) is not forgiven and not given a second chance, it doesn't mean he/she is less of a person provided that he/she is willing to change.
everyone deserves a second chance. but i'm not talking about one party forgiving another. that's at the victim's discretion. it's about repenting and living a different life.

In regards to the drug part....that person made a choice to use it so it's better to run and not get involved with that person ever again.

As for the cheater, just run and don't look back.

I just think you will only hurt yourself more if you give these people a chance. They need to move on and find other people that will help them. You don't want to be dragged into a uncomfortable situation.

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I've always believed in giving second chances in regards to friendships and professional relationships. People are not perfect, and will occasionally screw up.

The one area that I would not give a do over for though is if someone were cheating on me. Once a trust like that is broken, it is impossible to repair at least for me.

I think it's about several things; trust level, tolerance, ability to forgive and compassion

I agree that drug addicts make the choice to do drugs (except babies born to drug addicts). Yes, they may have done things while under the influence of the drugs that they were not aware of doing and didn't mean to do.. but still the addict made a choice to take the drugs.

I think if the person that was the addict is making a genuine change in their life to stop the addiction and get their life straight again, that depending on how the person feels that they hurt, it might be ok for a second chance depending on the severity of what was done to the person that was hurt.

It depends also on forgiveness. Can that person truly forgive the addict and make a real heart-felt new start? Some people cannot do this and forgive. Everyone has a limit of what they can stand. Some people lose love for a person that has truly hurt them. Once that kind of love is lost, it usually is truly lost. It's also because the trust was lost. Trust is a HUGE factor in a relationship. When trust is broken, it destroys a lot of the love (in most cases). However if the person that was hurt by the addict really and truly loves them, there is a possibility that the relationship can start again with proper therapy and time to heal and for the trust to grow again. It would be a VERY hard time for the both of them and it would take a lot of courage but it's not impossible.

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I am willing to give people a second chance as well as the benefit of the doubt. I think I should treat others the way I would want to be treated myself, fairly. But I don't think I am merciful enough for third and fourth chances.

Now if this is applied to a relationship in which my SO cheated on me, then I wouldn't give him a second chance because I am worth more than that.

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In general yes, I believe in second chances if someone has made a mistake. But when it comes to one individual hurting another I'd say it is not about second chances but rather about what the victim is comfortable with.


First, if someone is using drugs then to me it is really them talking and not the drug. As far as I am concerned they take on that responsibility when they use the drugs.
I just can't see myself being with someone who has a drug addiction. But if I was in this situation and REALLY believed that she was going to turn over a new leaf then there is a possibility that I'd stay. I use the word 'possibility' because I may have been hurt too much to stick around. Anyway, this would have nothing to do with giving the person a second chance. It would have to do with me wanting to rebuild the relationship that we had.


I don't see this as a matter of right or wrong.


I don't see this as being about second chances either, or about whether or not the cheater is worthless or deserving. Personally, I doubt very much that I would continue with someone who has cheated on me, since that trust has been broken. I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I am always wondering if I can trust the other person. What's the point of being with her then.

I wouldn't give a cheater a second chance unless we were married -- in which case, I'd at least try to see if I could forgive him (it would depend on circumstances, and whether I felt I could trust him not to do it again).

As for drug addicts, I do believe they deserve a second chance to turn their lives around. However, unless they're related to me, I probably wouldn't want to associate with them until their addiction was so far in the past that you'd never suspect it if you met them. I just don't have time for that kind of drama, as much as I feel sorry for the person going through it.

I suppose the way I see it usually is that no one "deserves" a second chance. If someone screws up and damages another's trust or faith or emotional stability then they "deserve" to be kicked to the curb. But,as we all know, people don't always get what they deserve, and more than likely all of us on this forum deserve a lot worse than what we have.

Second chances aren't deserved they're given by the grace of another. They're a gift and you're damn lucky if you've got it. If you screw up once then there's really no logical reason for anyone to think you won't do it again but maybe out of faith, or compassion, or just plain love you get offered a second chance to show that you've either changed or that the old you wasn't the 'real' you.

Second chances are also selfish on the givers behalf because usually the one giving second chances WANTS this person in their life or WANTS this person to be in a certain position. Where do you think 3rd and 4th chances come from? Those people certainly don't DESERVE it, they just happen to have someone that really cares about them or really needs them. And that, boys and girls, is LUCK.

I believe in giving second chances to those who are trying their hardest to correct a wrong. If someone I loved or was involved with was heavy into drugs or alcohol and they wanted a second chance, I would give it to them if I saw that they were doing all they could to get sober.

As far as cheating is concerned I don't think I would give a second chance no matter what, because I would always wonder "Does he really love me?" "Is he with someone else now?" "Is he telling the truth when he says he's sorry and that it was a mistake?" I would feel second placed and I would have to spend the rest of my life feeling that I loved him more than he loved me, and that would suck. So for my own sake, I probably wouldn't give a second chance. That instance is just as selfish as those who would give one. You give or don't give based off of how YOU feel about the situation.

If someone is abusive physically or emotionally and they're AWARE (minus mental illnesses like bipolar disorder which can't be controlled without medication) of the abuse then they SURE as hell don't deserve a second chance, and there aren't too many who would give one to them just out of the good grace of their hearts. The people who give 3rd and 4th+ chances are usually the ones who think they can change someone with enough time, love, and endurance.


Really though it's all circumstantial.

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I agree with those who say the second chance depends on the severity of the "wrong"

As far as drug use.. I personally couldn't be with someone who does drugs. I don't even drink or smoke myself.. so I can't see myself in this position.

Cheaters, I've never cheated and never had anyone cheat on me. I don't know how I would react, but I'm inclined to believe I'm not very forgiving when it comes to cheating. Trust is a huge issue for me. I'll openly admit that I'm not very good at sharing when it comes to my girlfriend.

In most other circumstances.. I do believe in second chances.. and I think in a lot of instances, I'm a sucker. With my last ex, I must have given her atleast half a dozen serious chances. I wouldn't recommend that.. it only leads to heartache because you keep wondering why the person you love keeps screwing things up. Then when things end, you just have this bitter taste in your mouth for being so "weak" and can't come to an understanding how your partner can't understand the chances they were blessed with.