my boyfriend has been sending myspace messages back and forth from this girl he went to highschool with. she's half korean like me, and he admitted that he had a crush on her sister, which normally wouldn't bother me, but they're IDENTICAL TWINS!!!!! he claims that they have very different personalities and that's why he was attracted to her. blah =/

so, the other day i got on the computer, he was already logged on, so i took a peak at his inbox, and sure enough there were several messages from her in there. i read one, and it made me so mad that i erased it. he ended up finding out about it and he was upset that i read it. he feels like i don't trust him, which is understandable, but it's really her that i don't trust.

so far, they're really just catching up on the past 10 years, but from no where she starts talking about how "all these guys want me, but i don't want them. so you should feel lucky i'm writing you."

ugh. whatever...

this really pisses me off. i can already see through her little act. normally, im not the jealous type, but this girl is REALLY pissing me off.

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cramming a latte

thats just her "what if" factor to bait him, she could be feeding his "man" brain, no offense guys! If you guys are still young.. it affects you more so if you were older, being mature helps a person make these decisions.. EVEN tho he may want to be faithful to you, she has peaked his interest, and she knows it. just like all women.. know when a guy is hitting on them..

i say, just watch them.. if he decides to take that step, well then it's best to find out sooner then later.. for me, i was in a relationship with my ex husband for 10+yrs, and as SOON as a woman started messing with his mind telling him he was (cute,sarcastic,funny,handsome..ect)BUT of course this was being built up for his own ego trip.. he wasn't strong enough to say no, i'm sorry i have a wife and kids, i am not interested..

so i say watch, and if he doesnt hold his end of the relationship deal i say let him go.. not worth a heartache.

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!girl scouts! "to build girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place."

Here is what I think. Ride it out. If he is really yours to keep he wont do anything. If he is not yours it is not a great lost. Because who wants a guy who is going to cheat.
Just chill. Don't get upset over this yet. It sounds like old friends trying to keep old times. One day none of this matters.

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I am keeping my eye on you

Your guy is being an ass hole. Plain and simple.

If you've talked to him about it and told him how it bothers you then he shouldn't have to pull the "You don't trust me?" card. That dumb line is only used to make YOU feel guilty and it's underhanded. Anyway, he shouldn't be interested in talking to that girl anyway if he's got you.

For example, I would NOT be okay with my guy meeting up in a one on one with a gal-pal from back in the day who he either had a crush on or who had a crush on him. Not that I would suspect anything, just because it's not a proper thing to do. Since I started dating someone I stopped eating one on one dinners with my guy friends. I still hang out with my guy friends of course, but we're always in some sort of group or social situation. I'm not doing it because I had feelings for these guys, I'm doing it out of respect for the man I'm seeing now. How would he feel about it? It doesn't have anything to do with him 'trusting' me, it's a comfort thing.

Sharing private myspace messages with a girl like that and then getting POed when you bring it up is NOT OKAY. You have to ask yourself, and him, what his intentions are with this girl. Is it to be friends? Why exactly? Does he really need an ex-crush buddy? Especially if it makes you uncomfortable?

I'm not saying kick him to the curb, but talk to him and if he gets mad that you're even trying to have that conversation with him then there's something going on. Even if there's nothing going on between him and this online friend, he feels guilty about it if he's getting all fussy and flustered when you talk about it. You can just tell him that you don't trust her, and you don't appreciate the way she talks to him. That in itself should make him really think about cutting off his ties with her. Who is he in the relationship with anyway, you or her? If he wants to continue to talk to her SO bad that he'll risk making you uncomfortable then you might have a problem sweetie.

It's not fair to you.

Just give him a talk, see what happens.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

"There is no opinion worth burning your neighbor for" ~ Voltaire

Odrah is so right. I mean, if he were still talking to an ex g/f who acted that way, who wouldn't get pissed? Talk to him.

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I am curious. You never talk to ex/bf? You don't have friendships with people from your past?
My hubby is now bf with my ex they go to Vegas and hang out with each other.
There is nothing wrong with some hanging out or talking to someone from their past.
I do agree about the trust card. And that might be an indication he is up to something. But I do not think she should be reading his e-mail or anything like that. That is a violation. If he did that to you I bet you be on here complaining he does not trust you.
Like I said do not get upset over this. Life is to short to get all upset over a man. I am going to be 40 in October. And I can tell you time is wasted when you spend it worrying about another.
If he truly loves you he will do the right thing.
Personally I feel there must be some cracks in your relationship. Otherwise you would blow all this off and just go with the flow. Remeber all that matters is you are honest and true. Which is a great honor. If he is doing something wrong he is the one who will live with dishonor.

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I am keeping my eye on you

This is exactly what I feel about it too.

I agree completely with what Odrah said.

I wouldn't like it either. Also, if there wasn't anything going on, why didn't he tell you about it? To me the fact that he has been in touch with this girl and has not told you is an indication something just isn't right. I guess he could also say you might have blown it out of proportion or something. And has he told this girl that he has a girlfriend?

Sounds like you definitely need to have a big talk with him. Tell him you would rather him not have contact with this girl anymore if it really makes you feel uncomfortable. Also, ask him how he would feel if it was YOU doing it. Would it bother him?

I would definitely keep an eye on the situation.

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My boyfriend and I have a promise between us. If anyone from our past contacts us and they are the opposite sex (most especially if they were someone we once dated) we are to tell each other about it immediately. It's a comfort level thing. We agreed that we would greet them but let them know we are with someone and happy.

I think you should talk more to him about it. It's a comfort level thing and not necessarily about trust. Sounds like if he is pulling that card, then he is perhaps a little guilty about something.