Hey guys. I have a friend who has a problem. I think the answer is friggin obvious but she doesn't necessarily believe in me in regards to matters of the heart. Anyway since she's too lame to post it herself or join the forum, I'm posting it just to show what most of the answers would be. LOL. She's aware of it and will lurk 24-7 most likely.

Anyway... here goes.

She spent a year in Japan a while ago and during that time she fell in love with another foreigner who is still living in Japan. After she left, they decided to stay together because they loved each other and they've been planning to return to US ASAP. So, to cut the long story short, she just flew back to Japan a couple of days ago to visit him. She was the happiest person in the world to see him, but as soon as she got to his place she noticed 'obvious evidence' that he hadn't been faithful to her.

Now, she wasn't really expecting him not to have sex with other girls - and she told him that when she confronted him about the long dark hair lying all over his place. But he denied everything, which just made her doubt him. She was always very clear with him - all she expects is honesty, so all he has to do is tell her and they can move on.

Anyways, then she did something stupid... she read the emails on his phone and just as she figures - there really is another girl. What surprised her is that it seems his relationship with this girl is far from casual sex. She told him what she did right away and guess what!!! He's still denying being with this girl. He kept saying that he has nothing with her, that he loves my friend and their relationship is serious, blah, blah... He wants her to believe him and he doesn't even think he needs to explain anything. He expects her to trust him blindly.

She still loves this guy and she don't want to give him up, but staying with him means she will have to ignore the fact he is not honest with her. Right now, she think she feels more guilty about reading his emails than he does about dating someone on the side.

What should she do???

if i was your friend (as hard as it is for me to think as a girl), i would've made him sit down and read the emails together and properly analysed them sentence by sentence, word by word and asked him wtf is going on.

Tell her to stop being stupid and leave him.

bad on her for reading the emails...on the other hand...she shouldn't let him get over on her. Everyone deserves honesty and if he can't be honest with her, she shouldn't waste her time.

There is a lot more I could say but in the end I feel she should move on, cheating being a big reason to do so.

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I just can't help myself. Risk it all with me.

I understand that she is in love with the man, however, give me one good reason why she should stay with someone who doesn't love her. No matter what delusions she may have about how he feels about her, his actions speak louder than words! No man who truly loves a woman would dare cheat on her, even if he hasn't had sex in a while. There is such a thing as self-control and if a guy can't have it in this one area of his life, then what makes her think that after coming back home he is suddenly going to change his ways?

Women...

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end the relationship and move on, youll thank yourself when you find a REAL MAN

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Life is about trusting our feelings and taking chances,losing and finding happiness,appreciating the memories and learning from the past.

I just want to know what it is with people (mostly women) and snooping on their SO's emails. I can't think of a single positive outcome that can result from reading the email. You either find out they are a cheating scumbag, in which case, you probably had other clues anyway, and now you are left feeling guilty and self conscious for invading someone's privacy, or you find out that they are not cheating, in which case you either don't tell your SO and then feel guilty and self conscious for not trusting them and not telling them, or you tell your SO, then you feel guilty and self conscious, and you've ruined the trust between the two of you. I don't see any winning situation in this scenario. I keep my email private from my SO, not because I have anything to hide (and I don't even mind her reading it over my shoulder), but because there is such a thing as implicitly trusting your significant other, and I want to know I have that trust.

As to your friend's dilemma, it sounds like they weren't in a monogamous relationship, if your friend is saying she wouldn't have minded knowing that he was sleeping with someone else. The guy is a liar, and not worth her time. Also he needs to learn to get a better vacuum cleaner,clean out the hairs from the shower drains, wash the sheets (to get rid of that womanly smell), hide the extra toothbrush, and make sure he uses a different brand of condoms for each girl as they tend to remember how many were "left" after the last session. I recommend the Oreck XL - that's what I use to get rid of evidence.

OMG! this sort of thing makes me so hyped up... ditch him before you end up being married to him and having to divorce him! a marriage license where i live is 40 bux... a divorce that is a clean break is 865... prices may have gone up since mine a couple of years ago but just imagine if you have kids with a creep like this and he does it while your married!! it will cost so much more and be so hard on the kids

LEAVE HIM NOW!! there are tons of men in the world... i'm sure not all of the good ones are taken

Yea, he should learn to masturbate at a more skillful and self-controlled level. har har.

Oh GOD! I just totally set myself up for that one... lol

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